they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
