Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
