i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize