So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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