I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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