Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
