Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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