Are we in a gay sports bar?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
please come you make the beer taste better
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
