sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize