i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
