How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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