Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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