Well douche your snatch and let's go!
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize
