Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
