I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
