i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
