problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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