Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize