ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
