..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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