she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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