wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
