and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
