dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
