I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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