Nicole vs. Life
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize