you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
