I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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