i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
