it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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