is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
