i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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