I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize