Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
