My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
