the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
whose parrot is this?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
