I wannas sexs uuuuu
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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