is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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