nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
