I want to stick my p in your. b.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
