I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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