my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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