know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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