Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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