cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
