He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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