I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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