Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
should my penis look like a turkey
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
