your thong is hanging out like whoa
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
