I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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