maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
