This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
