addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
