I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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