So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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