I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
