he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
