Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
