the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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