$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
