Where is the hickey?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
