I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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