How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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