i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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